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The Open Door

by Sean Gorter

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1.
Wander 05:03
Was a long time ago when I heard the children howling in their room Singing songs high and low of the people they’d be turning into soon With a compliment set for you, with a smile to tell you that you’ll be okay Did the anthem permeate you, did it make it hard to look the other way? Well I’m turned around, I’m turned around So I’ll wander under the broken sky Yeah I’ll wander all through the great gone by There I lie Let go of what you’ve heard, we’re beyond the reach of everything you’ve known I will not be deterred, this uncharted age is screaming for a home I’ve been reading all the stars above, I’ve been getting sleep beyond the border of the grave With our faces underwater, could we even feel the rising tidal wave? Well I hear those waves come crashing So I’ll wander under the broken sky Yeah I’ll wander all through the great gone by That old life is gone I’ve been waiting for the sky to fall, I’ve been counting down the days ’til all the pieces burn Were you searching for a meaning? Did it come to you in all they made you learn? Well I don’t believe the message So I’ll wander under the broken sky Yeah I’ll wander all through the great gone by So I’ll wander under the broken sky Yeah I’ll wander all through the great gone by There I lie
2.
Lately I just don’t feel I’m the same There’s something I can’t see and it pulls the way I came And I can’t get rest when it’s on my chest this is all that’s left of me Away I’ve been wasting and I don’t wanna live this way Maybe I’m inside a hurricane Surrounded completely by the winds of hurried change Now I’m left behind while the times go by cause they’ve gotten tired of me Who’s moving too slowly, and I don’t wanna live this way So I’ll follow where it goes just to feel okay With the rain beneath my toes every single day From across the chapel rows do they hear me pray So he knows that I don’t wanna live this way again Take me to the last time I was made Before it went crazy with an illness I can’t say There’s a darkness there that I can’t repair with the tools I bear on me It’s watching me closely and I don’t wanna live this way So I’ll follow where it goes just to feel okay With the rain beneath my toes every single day From across the chapel rows do they hear me pray So he knows that I don’t wanna live this way again I’m a criminal, I’m an infidel, and I don’t wanna live this way I’m an animal, indescribable, and I don’t wanna live this way Or they’ll throw me overboard just to feel okay Heaven knows that I don’t wanna live this way again
3.
Of Trees 04:14
I’m going to say it now. I’m just gonna say it: What I’m getting at is why you allow yourself to be exploited. You’re willing to see a beautiful tree but it’s at a loss– I think some time investments that you don’t consider to be losses are losses compared to certain time investments that you have not seen can be much bigger gains. Because it is a loss, it’s a sacrifice. It’s a time-based sacrifice that you’re putting into seeing a tree. How come you’re not willing to use X time to see a much more fucking nuanced and beautiful, and like, unimaginable tree that is also much scarier and much less of a tree, and much more dangerous, but also much more, just, endless, and not made for you by a group of people who make trees for you? If this is what you want, you have to be happy with what you’re getting, because you get exactly what you put in. That’s it. (Hey dude, I’m actually in the middle of a pretty important discussion right now.) (Come back!) I see it as a game, dude, it’s a game. Does it feel very satisfying to play? Do you– do you ask yourself “why am I playing this” every time you open it up? You think the world of video games is the only world out there for you? You really think there’s nothing out there for you? Okay so, you, you– you know that there are other worlds out there for you, that you can thrive in more enviroments than just one. You cannot just tomorrow stop playing video games, of course not. That will not happen, and that should not happen. You know what the danger of this whole thing is? It’s that there’s no one reason for why you play Warframe. It fulfills a lot of things in a wonderful way. You want certain things– I know how much you like them. I think there a lot of things that you have not seen the fruits of. Yeah, I think you stop yourself from having certain kinds of relationships with girls that you could really enjoy more. I think you have everything you need at your disposal in order to have, basically, much bigger and much juicier fruits with girls than you are currently letting yourself grow on the tree of fruits– on the tree of girls. You are not watering your girl-fruit-tree… look dude, let me– let me be fucking simple: Change your habits. That’s it.
4.
I’m drowning in the silicon, I’m breathing in the rust My lungs are tarred and feathered with the dust I gaze up to the motherboard, its highways overrun It fills me with a shame to speak its tongue You’re on the edge of Labyrinth, I’m pulling you away The Minotaur’s been digging you your grave But you’re off in search of ecstasy inside the scrolling feeds To hear that what you want is what you need Yeah, so I tore that chip out from inside my eyes Yeah, so I’d know that I could trust what I see Yeah, and I swore that I would bring you back alive Yeah, don’t give up on me, don’t give up on me You’re lost beyond the Perlin sea and washed upon the shore Where dreams are made and catalogued to tour The lotus eaters beckon you, their faces hazed and stoned The table is prepared, your seat is shown I strip the wire to the core, connect it to the sun To take you off the grid and on the run But your head is burning to the touch, a heat sink for the code Programming you into someone I don’t know Yeah, so I tore that chip out from inside my eyes Yeah, so I’d know that I could trust what I see Yeah, and I swore that I would bring you back alive Yeah, don’t give up on me, don’t give up on me
5.
Dangerous 03:43
I think there’s something wrong Think they’ve found out about me Feels like they’ve finally sent the whole world out to change me I hear their siren song That they’ve put out to catch me But I’ve been listening far too long to let it get me I hear them coming down hard Searching every cornerstone, will they ever leave alone? Never I feel them raising their guard Trying not to hear me, don’t let them hear me Because I’m dangerous The border’s breaking down, I’m ready to burst The word was made for us I’m not going down without a fight You know I’m dangerous If they don’t bring me down, they’re ready to burst You know their hate for us So come on, come with me, come on, come with me They’ve got me on the run They’ve got me hide-and-seeking They’re doing everything to keep me from ever speaking I’m Wanted Number One I’m whispered conversation I’m hanging on the edge of everything you’ve ever held I hear them playing their noise Drowning every paradigm, don’t you read between the lines ever I keep from raising my voice So they don’t hear me, don’t let them hear me Because I’m dangerous The border’s breaking down, I’m ready to burst The word was made for us Life out from underneath their heels You know I’m dangerous If they don’t bring me down, they’re ready to burst You know their fate for us So come on, come with me, come on, come with me Don’t let them tell you your world Listen with your lying ears, made for facing down your fears, yeah Scream if you wanna be heard So you can save me, won’t you come save me Because I’m dangerous The border’s breaking down, I’m ready to burst The word was made for us I’m not going down without a fight You know I’m dangerous If they don’t bring me down, they’re ready to burst You know their hate for us So come on, come with me, come on, come with me
6.
Break Away 03:37
Seventeenth of June I’m all alone with you You’re going much too soon There’s nothing I could do I know I’m not a lover I know I’m not a friend I know I’m much too clever To let it be the end Break away I’m breaking all the rules (Oh you never cared for ‘em anyway) I’ve bet it all on you (That you did, that you did) I’m stranded in this room (Did you think this far ahead) It’s colder without you (But anyone would do) I know it’s long been over (Oh don’t you start with me) I know you’re out again (I’m moving on, I’m moving on) I know it’s left you broken (Whose fault do you think that is) You never could pretend (You don’t know anything) Break away I’ve never scratched your picture (Oh it’s easier if you did) I’ve never bent the truth (But sometimes I wish you would) I’ve never left your corner (I don’t want your kind of sympathy) No matter what I lose (Ah) Break away
7.
But I'm not down I'm okay Yeah I'm not down I'm not running away
8.
Rain 05:10
Rain Come pull me up again Come pull me up again, oh Rain And wash away the blood Let it come, let it come In a flood, oh a flood The last time we talked was a thousand years We built us a bridge made of gold When night came, the darkness played tricks on our eyes The fire couldn’t scare off the cold The last time we saw we turned down the lights We spoke through our savers of souls When sun broke the sky, our bridge was long gone There’s something in the water, I know Rain Come pull me up again Come pull me up again, oh Rain And wash away the blood Oh, come down on me Rain Come pull me up again Come pull me up again, oh Rain
9.
Wake up, it’s time to open up your windows Let the light shine through from the twilight view Save up every penny that you made from Selling shares of you when they asked you to They sang the sweetest of love songs They held your feet off the ground They set the greatest of fires Then left you deaf to the sound Wake up, the sun is setting and you’ve missed out On the light it’s left behind But all you say is “Let it be, let it be, let it be Oh why can’t you just Let it be, let it be, let it be Don’t you see I don’t Wanna leave, wanna leave, wanna leave Won’t you let me sleep” Wake up, you’ve been drinking of a poison With the taste of god in the noble rot Make up with your brothers and your sisters From the wars you’ve fought, see the scars they’ve wrought I offer you pain and struggle I offer blood, sweat, and tears I know it’s hardest to follow I know I don’t feel your fear Wake up, the bed you lay in is slowly breaking From the weight it’s holding up I hear you saying “Let it be, let it be, let it be Oh why can’t you just Let it be, let it be, let it be Don’t you see I don’t Wanna leave, wanna leave, wanna leave Won’t you let me sleep” Won’t you please let it be, I’m afraid of the dark Those voices deep inside laugh at me from far behind You won’t be there for me, I’m not seeing what you see There’s no other way to be, so let it be, so let it be Don’t make me wake up, there’s a comfort in this reverie I don’t wanna lose, I refuse, I refuse I won’t wake up, close the curtains on my window There’s no light for us to find Oh please don’t tell me “Let it be, let it be, let it be” You know I can’t just Let it be, let it be, let it be Come with me ‘cause I Wanna leave, wanna leave, wanna leave Don’t go back to sleep (Let it be, let it be, let it be Let me sleep)
10.
Rest your head and close your eyes Dream a dream of a world gone by Once upon a time Settle in for another day There’s so much you want to say If you could find a way Lift your eyes for all to see Raise your ears to the melody Of all you still could be You don’t have to walk alone Venturing in the great unknown Waiting for someone to bring you home Life’s a blessing you just have to choose Just know that I’ll be standing right with you Life’s a blessing you just have to choose Just know that I’ll be standing right with you Your days grow brighter when time starts to move Just know we’ll all be waiting here for you Life’s a blessing you just have to choose Just know that I’ll be standing right with you Your days grow brighter when time starts to move Just know we’ll all be waiting here for you
11.
I felt a chill come to guide me I heard the open door He took my hand down to lead me Across the golden floor He said, “My child, represent me The open road is yours Into a world turned against me Yourself you’ll lay down for” I kept the Word square beside me I set my demons first Their songs were sweeter than honey Their breath was winterburst I tried to beat back the moonlight I only staved the dawn I watched the fire touch the inside And so the night was long So long so it takes you in So long 'til I'm home again I walked a mile down the south street The end was drawing near I passed from marble to concrete The ending disappeared I asked of roads I have ridden They said to linger on I asked if I’ve come unbidden He said to carry on Carry on though your will may bend Carry on ’til the bitter end So I’ve come so far but where we are Was never any better than where we’ve been So I’m spinnin’ ‘round in the clouds And everything just pulls me back within Ooh ah, coming down again Ooh ah, let me down again Ooh ah, I am lost again So let me start again I heard the open door He took my hand down to lead me To where I was before
12.
Paul 01:29
Rest your head and still yourself tonight Make your bed and walk into the light Your wind has gone, carried from The valley to the sea Break your bread and drink, as is your right In your stead we'll take up for your fight

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released May 10, 2023

Sean Gorter - mixing, mastering

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Sean Gorter

Pianist, singer, songwriter, producer. AKA Flare. Social media recluse.

It's my great joy and privilege to entertain you.

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